Taming my Stickler

One thing I value immensely is personal growth. Growth tells me I’m moving forward; I’m not static. It assures me I’m on the right path. There was a time I didn’t value learning or growing. Learning new things was stressful. It meant feeling and (probably) looking foolish while I figured it out. This was one of the ways I was too hard on myself. Somewhere in these years of facing fear and practicing courage, I’ve discovered that it is fun to learn. It is empowering to face fear and overcome it. For me, learning is about facing fear and conquering it. I know I’m growing when I’m willing to try new things. When I’m on that path, I know perfectionism has loosened its grip and that’s worth celebrating!

If you follow my blog regularly, you know I’ve written about perfectionism before.

This week I tried something new – a growth spurt! I was invited to be on my first podcast. When asked something like this, I’ve learned to pause, check in with my values and say “yes” if things align (even if it makes me nervous). I agreed to be on fellow coach, Charlie Jett’s podcast. Charlie Jett is a graduate of the United States Naval Acedemy, has his MBA from Harvard Business school, has written 3 books and is a certified coach. He wanted us to discuss the Stickler, a PQ coaching version of the perfectionist. I figured I had lots of personal examples to share and share them I did! I hope you’ll listen. The podcast is 23 minutes. True confessions, I was nervous at the beginning, so the first 3 minutes are a bit stilted. If you push beyond those, you’ll hear us talk about the biggest lies the Stickler (Perfectionist) tells me, what it costs me when I don’t shut it down, the impact the Stickler has on my performance and happiness and what I do to help myself when it is active.

16 The Three Gifts with Amy Moser Mental Fitness Explained Podcast

Certified Positive Intelligence coaches Amy Moser (London) and Charlie Jett (Chicago) discuss the "Three Gifts Technique" – finding the gift in a negative circumstance. Knowledge, Power, and Inspiration! Amy Moser is a Certified Positive Intelligence and seasoned coach who works with clients that include divorcing women and family lawyers. Her previous experience in working with parents and kids fits with her passion to improve divorce within the family system. Amy's clients develop the mental fitness to be resilient throughout the stressful times during and after divorce. Amy has personal experience from an eight-year high conflict divorce. She regards this as a gift, and uses it to support others through coaching. Amy has worked in partnership with barristers, international family lawyers, divorce coaches and mediators in the US, UK, UAE and Italy. She negotiated a successful consent order in the Italian Court and has represented herself in the UK Court. Amy is a single mother of two teenagers. She moved from Chicago to London when she was 30 (hence amymoser30). Third-culture living, expatriatism, travelling on standby, redundancy, death of a parent and teenage mental health struggles have all been part of her own life experience. She has US, UK and Italian passports. Amy's recent work with Positive Intelligence includes Business-to-Business presentations and a PQ Accelerator mastermind group. Responding to feedback from PQ clients, she created a one-hour PQ Workout event, started in April 2021. She moderates a private Facebook Group, which any PQ trained woman can join. See links below. Amy worked in corporate communications at professional services firms for more than 20 years. Go to Coach Amy's Website Go to Coach Charlie's Website
  1. 16 The Three Gifts with Amy Moser
  2. 15 Saboteur “Tag Teams” with Bill Carmody
  3. 14 The “Hyper-Achiever” Saboteur with Manbir Kaur
  4. 13 The “Hyper-Rational” Saboteur with Chris Baker
  5. 12 The “Restless” Saboteur with Pam Knox

Do you think you might have a Stickler saboteur? You can take the free assessment and find out.

This Week’s Photos

I’m an amateur photographer. This week, my photos celebrate growth – more mushroom pictures!


I coach people who are too hard on themselves to go from stressed to refreshed by giving them the volume control on their inner critic. You can connect with me here, learn more about coaching or about the 6 week mental fitness course.

Sue Das, CPCC, ACC, CPQC, B Soc Sc (SW)

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