(Estimated reading time 1 minute)
I have found myself increasingly annoyed by people trying to ascribe meaning to the pandemic we are currently experiencing. This distaste rises in me like bile, and I can’t get rid of it. If I self-coach, I know that this irritation indicates something I value that is not being honoured. I want to rip those posts from social media, shout at those who discuss excitedly about the opportunity for change in our world. Do I agree that this pandemic creates a global pause, and we’ll get to decide what song we play next? Yes. Do I whole-heartedly agree that COVID-19 is forcing us to include what we’ve so far been unwilling to look at? Yes, I do. And I know that there is more than this “looking beyond” to what we can make of it, to the ways it can change our world for the better. What I know is that lonely people are stuck alone at home right now. People are missing their prom or the wedding they dreamed of. People are worried they won’t see their parents again or that their spouse might die. Others are working their fingers to the bone to help people even though they’re afraid. I know that people are dying. Those people are not going to see a new and better world. Those people are not going to get through it. Can we just take a minute while we’re still in the middle of all of this to honour those in the thick of it who can’t see past the next person who is so sick they need medical intervention? Can we take the time to grieve with those who are grieving? Can we stop trying to bypass the pain in order to get to the meaning? It doesn’t work that way.
“Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed. That doesn’t mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.”
David Kessler, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief
If you want to listen to Brene Brown’s interview with David Kessler on grief and finding meaning, you can find that here.
Sue Das, Courage Coach, CPCC, ACC, B Soc Sc (SW)
If you want to learn more about coaching with me or if you wish to connect with me and have a virtual coffee, you can do that here.