(Estimated reading time 2 minutes)
It was a snapping, snarling thing that rose suddenly from some unknown place – obliterating, tearing, devouring. I could feel my blood pressure rise and power flood through my body. For someone who is normally fairly calm and happy this run-in with anger was frankly quite a surprise. Where on earth did all that rage come from and how was I supposed to get it out of my body? I wanted to return to tranquility. You see, I’m someone who likes soft lighting, spa-like smells and soothing ambient music. I like harmony and comfort. Rage is definitely not comfortable. It is not calm. It is fierce and powerful and focused. It’s hard to control and contain. It’s out to destroy. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things that need rage – but this was not one of them.
I’m a peacemaker – at least I try to be. So to say I am not proud of this moment is an understatement.
The thing is the unknown guy on the other end of the phone made me feel invisible and unimportant, like I had no voice and no value. He made me angry because no one should ever be made to feel like that. It is a core belief of mine that we are all created unique, talented and valuable, although sometimes all that giftedness is deeply buried and needs to be unearthed. It often takes someone else seeing it in us, before we are able to see it in ourselves and I’m grateful to those who saw it in me long before I could see it in myself.
I realise now that my reaction to the customer service representative probably had very little to do with him and a whole lot to do with me. I’m going to have to look at that a little more closely….sometime….but for now I’m going to take my dogs for a walk on the beach, feel the sunshine on my face and the sand between my toes. I’m going to take a deep breath and realise that this issue will be there waiting until I’m ready to look at it. And that is okay.
Here’s to living with clarity, courage, compassion and confidence!