My husband and I travel regularly. There’s nothing quite like the day we leave for a trip. For me, it’s an uncomfortably spicy blend of anticipation and agitation. I’m usually well organized – packed and ready. I find it hard to sit still as we wait until it’s time to leave the house. As much as we’ve done this before, I still feel anxious. I think about missing our kids. I wonder how much our granddaughter will change while we’re gone. I feel bad about leaving our dog. As soon as we get going, a lot of the stress dissipates and I start to think about where we’re going and who we’re going to see when we get there. That’s when the excitement starts to build. Mixed in with all this is a lot of time waiting.

Today, I should be waiting in London, UK. Part way through the journey to South Africa. Instead, we are still in Toronto. The thing is, I’m actually glad we’re here instead of being sent off at our scheduled time last night. I imagine how much worse it would have been to find out that there was a mechanical fault part way over the Atlantic. I am glad, but I’m also bored and tired. I’m frustrated. We finally got to our hotel room at 1 am last night after the 10 pm flight was delayed and then finally canceled. I was wired and tired. Sleep was difficult. If you know me, you’ll know 1am is WAY past my bedtime.

And now, there’s a whole day of waiting until we finally get on a flight 24 hours after we were supposed to leave. No big deal, right? Except that we were supposed to be in the UK right now, waiting for just one more flight until we could be in South Africa. And we’re not. We haven’t even left Canada. And I’m already exhausted.

Here I am, knowing that it is unhelpful to hold onto what was supposed to be. It is part of what adds to that mental tiredness. It’s part of what makes this thing that happed into a much bigger deal than it actually is.

So , thanks to my husband’s suggestion, I’m filling a little bit of time by writing a blog. I’m reminding myself of what I know helps:

1. Accepting what is out of our control.
2. Choosing what we can control – our behaviour.
3. Finding a more empowering way to look at the situation.
4. Allowing myself to feel all the things – tired, bored, frustrated and thankful – all at the same time.

I love it when things go according to plan. Today is good practice for all the times they don’t.