Do you ever feel a bit flat even though life is full of good things? Try identifying one of your values and finding a way to live it out in a specific circumstance. Notice how you feel. Sometimes the circumstances don’t change, but how you feel does.
I spent the last few days with an energetic and inspiring group of people. I was assisting a Co-Active Fulfillment course. It was a lot of fun to be reminded of this course which I did as part of my coach training back in 2018. One of the things I realized is that as we grow and circumstances change, what we value can shift too. Getting clear on what’s important now, and finding concrete ways to live it out, can help bring a new sense of aliveness even when circumstances are challenging. Going after aliveness directly can be elusive. Looking to times and experiences where you felt alive previously or feel alive presently can help point you to your values and what actions you can take to help bring a sense of vibrancy.
If you asked me my values, I would reel off some version of courage, compassion, creativity, and connection. Okay. So what? There is a broadness, perhaps vagueness, to these words that make them feel less potent. Getting more specific about values helps you know how to action them. Let me give you an example.
One of the times I currently feel alive and like I’m living on purpose is when I’m playing with my granddaughter. We have this brightly coloured mat that we bought from South Africa many years ago for our own kids. I set it out before she comes. I put toys and books on the mat so that I’m ready for playtime when she arrives. I know that once she is here, I will set aside other important things and focus my attention on her. I will be ready to play and maybe be silly. I will respond when she says or does something. I will be with her. I will celebrate what she’s learning and discovering. I will be responsive. I expect joy.
There are a lot of words in this experience that point to values. Playful. Focused. Intentional. Expecting joy. Ready. Leaning in. Responsive. Expectant. Interactive. Aware of others.
Here’s a value I’m calling on the mat. When I’m “on the mat”, I’m being playful, focused, intentional, expectant, ready, responsive, expecting joy, interactive, aware of others, focused. The question then is, what would it be like to bring “on the mat” energy to other areas? What might change if I brought this energy to my work or a specific relationship? I don’t need to remember all these words. I know what I’m like when I’m on the mat with my granddaughter. When I remind myself, I want to be “on the mat” in some specific situation, I know that I am bringing the same kind of energy that I bring to my granddaughter. That is putting action to this specific value. Do you see how it’s easier when the value is very specific rather than generic?
Coaching
If you’d like a coaching session to work on identifying one of your unique values, book a session here or connect with me for more information.
I am loving my mental health coaching work with Lyra Health and still taking private coaching clients too. Here is one thing a client said recently at the end of coaching:
Beyond the Shadow 