I saw an article this week that talked about the benefits of embracing what is. I agreed with the sentiment behind the post. In theory, it was sensible and empowering, encouraging even. At the same time, I wanted to scream tantrum-like, “I don’t want to embrace it, learn from it, grow from it! I don’t like it. I don’t want it. When will it all be over?” The specifics of my “it” are not important, but I think we’ve all been there. We’ve all been in that place where we are tired. We are unmotivated. We just want it to be easier for a while. We may have done our best to embrace a positive mindset or be strong, but there are days we just want the tough stuff over. Perhaps we even want it over so badly we just try not to think about what is hard. The truth is the act of not thinking about something takes a great deal of energy. It takes more energy than just letting what is there be present as your foundation and building from there.

I’m in favour of accepting the hard realities of what is here right now. I even encourage you to explore what feels hard about it. Let yourself think about it, for a bit. Acknowledge it.

Embracing has something to do with acknowledgement and acceptance first, but there is more. Embracing our current realities takes us further. We can acknowledge and accept, but we must also adapt. We must adapt our expectations or our actions because of whatever we currently face that we are finding hard.

The true power and growth available and the possible gift of this moment, are learning how to be in the dark and challenging spaces of life and also learning that the darkness will not ultimately overcome us.

Accept and Acknowledge

1. Talk to someone you trust about your struggles. Don’t sugar coat it. Be honest.
2. Write about it in a journal. Don’t edit it. Don’t worry about the right punctuation or sentence structure. Just pour it into the journal as it comes out. You don’t even have to read it ever again. Just let it come out as it is. No sugar coating.

Adapt

1. What expectations do you need to change or let go of?
2. What is one thing you can include in your day that will help you to feel encouraged? Here’s a personal tip. Listen intently to the sounds of nature for twenty minutes. If you find yourself lost in thoughts or emotions, gently bring yourself back to the nature sounds. You can do this outside or you can find lots of nature sound videos on YouTube like the sound of waves, the water in a stream or birds singing. This will actually help calm the part of your brain where fear, anxiety and stress are active.
3. Persevere

Perseverance, secret of all triumphs.

Victor Hugo

This Week’s Photos

I’m an amateur photographer. Today’s pictures are in honour of finding the small, everyday things and moments that bring joy.

Coaching

I had a lovely comment about our coaching from one of my clients this week. She posted an image on Facebook that said, “When you keep criticizing your kids, they don’t stop loving you. They stop loving themselves. Let that sink in.” I love her insight, the work she is doing and that she is willing to share it with others.

If you’re struggling and want to talk about it, connect with me.

Sue Das, CPCC, ACC, B Soc Sc (SW)