The real reason I put off reconnecting with my high school friends

(Estimated reading time 1 minute 30 seconds)

I’ve been out of high school for 33 years. It’s been almost as long since I’ve seen most of my friends from those days. Although I’ve been back to Cape Town (the city where I grew up) many times, I found lots of excuses over the years for not reconnecting. There always seemed to be a good reason not to make the time. It is often our fears, and the stories we make up, that stop us. A few months back, in a momentary surge of feeling brave, I decided to reach out and try to arrange a reunion. Quite a few people responded favourably, and so we set it up. It was then that I realized what I’d done. I’d actually have to go through with it now that I’d organized it. What if we had nothing in common? Nothing to talk about? What if they’d all been wildly successful and my life paled by comparison? These fears and others were the real reason I hadn’t made contact before.

Class of 1986, reunion December 2019

I’m happy to say, reconnecting with my high school friends went very well. I’m so glad I reached out! I’m only sorry I didn’t do it sooner. There was something remarkable about finding a way to include my past in my present – to integrate the person I was then with the person I am now. This experience falls solidly into the category of things I think I would have regretted later on had I not done it. I’m celebrating pushing my doubts aside and going for it!

 “IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”

Lewis Carroll

What will you regret ten years from now?

Sue Das, Courage Coach, CPCC, ACC, B Soc SC (SW)

If you’re interested in finding out more about coaching, you can connect with me here

2 thoughts on “The real reason I put off reconnecting with my high school friends

  1. In our culture of entertainment bingeing it is becoming easier to withdraw and just watch other people from the safety of our couches. Or to feel that reaching out is a form of intrusion or pressuring busy people.

    I’m glad you made the effort to reconnect, and happy it worked out. It’d be nice if all relationships worked that way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Rob. I’m happy it worked out too! Part of what makes reaching out a courageous act is that we don’t know what the outcome will be. I keep having to remind myself that not knowing the outcome doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take action.


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