HOW TO DEVELOP AUTHENTIC CONNECTION WITH OTHERS

(Estimated reading time 2 minutes)

Authentic, soul-deep connection is a gift. It feels like being seen and completely accepted in this moment while simultaneously being inspired to be the best version of yourself. It is freedom, joy and safety all wrapped in preferential love. It is true interest and questions and lack of judgement. It is being understood. It is knowing that you are valued.

I think it’s safe to say we all want this kind of connection but are we willing to give it to others? Are we willing to set aside what twists and winds itself through us for long enough that we can be that person who sees, hears and values? Are we willing to be completely present, listening deeply not only to what is said but to what is not? Are we willing to be the one who perseveres….the one who gives more? This is the kind of love that lets go of safety and self preservation. It is the kind of love that is expansive and spacious. It sounds self defeating but is in fact the very thing that develops authentic connection and although it is intended as a gift for another, has a powerful way of transforming us.

This kind of love is never easy. It develops in the nursery of self awareness, coaxed into fullness by courage and honesty. It grows as we practise our own soul-deep seeing. We look deeply at ourselves seeing both our light and our shadows, accepting what we are in this moment and knowing that if we have darkness then we also have an enormous capacity for light. Seeing this in ourselves we know that others, too, are both shadowed and brilliant.  We are inspired to move away from what shrouds us, into the brightness of everything that is possible. As we step away from the darkness of thoughts that give us all the reasons why we don’t want to love in this kind of expansive way, step away from the thoughts that tell us not to take this kind of relational risk, we learn the joy of authentic connection – being present, really listening, seeing through the lens of compassion, noticing value and taking time to understand.

If you enjoyed reading this blog post please share it with someone you care about. Here’s to living with courage, clarity, compassion and confidence!

Are you willing to be the one who gives more_

 

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