(Estimated reading time 1.5 minutes)
I’ve been feeling a sense of impending doom like there’s this thing coming – a colossal tsunami – and I don’t know if the ground I’m standing on is high enough to keep from being swept away. Honestly, until the last few days, I had not considered that I might get sick. I’m not sure exactly what made me imagine it. Yes, I worried about those I know and love who are in higher-risk categories during this pandemic – but not me. It was probably not a great idea to delve into all the details – to read the posts about what it feels like to have COVID-19 or what it’s like for people to die alone in a hospital room unable to have their family close. There’s this strange fascination in knowing all the grisly details as if that is somehow going to make it easier if I do get it. I think Dr. Brene Brown calls this rehearsing tragedy – imagining the worst so you can beat vulnerability to the punch. Like somehow knowing it’s coming will make it easier to breathe.
Hope and Fear cannot occupy the same space. Invite one to stay.Maya Angelou
As my sense of immortality and invincibility dissolved, something noteworthy was left behind.
Grief at the potential loss of life not yet lived had me wondering, “What part of me is still unlived?”
The thought of what I already have being snatched away saturated me with anguish and something sweeter. I’m waking up to gratitude for the ordinary and equally magnificent parts of my life – the joy of having tea with my husband, the fullness of watching the sunrise, the closeness of the call with a loved one, the sweetness of interacting with my dogs. These everyday moments, the ones we easily dismiss, are the monuments we build when they’re gone.
This gratitude, the waking up to what matters, that’s my version of inviting hope to stay. What’s yours?
Questions to Invite Hope
- What becomes powerful when my sense of immortality and invincibility dissolve?
- What is waking up in me?
- What does irritation tell me about what matters?
- What does courage look like today?
Sue Das, Courage Coach, CPCC, ACC, B Soc Sc (SW)
If you want to do some coaching around inviting hope into your life, or you just want to have a virtual coffee and chat, connect with me here.